Joy

One of my favorite Christmas songs has the line "the thrill of hope..."

There IS a thrill in being hopeful. It is a boost. Refreshing. Rejuvenating. Peaceful.

To know that life, no matter what 'stuff' you are going through and we all are going through stuff, is still churning on. We are still learning and loving and living and figuring out this Pandora's box. These past weeks have been full of epiphany's for me. I am embracing it. The next chapter. Accepting that there is no way to go back has brought my heart a lot of joy. Knowing with everything I am that this decision is the best. Letting go of (some) of the guilt. Leaning on others and allowing them to lean on me. All of these things are bringing healing. For healing, like grief, sneaks up on us too. When the pain is so raw and fresh and deep and hallow and we don't think there is any way we will ever see the light of day and sunshine and all that is good again the healing finds its way in too. Like the sun coming out over the valleys in the morning. There are always shadowed places that are dark and painful but on top of that, brighter and bigger then that, there are glowing tops of mountains that distract us and make us look around. That is my life right now. What a beautiful journey...

indeed.