I don't talk about Reese very much here. It has been 2 1/2 years since she passed away. In that time I've watched my marriage crumble, fought against someone's mental illness and lost (pretty much the entire reason my marriage is ending), lost a father-in-law to diabetes, a nephew to suicide, fallen unexpected pregnant again only to miscarry, endured people making decisions that have forever wounded part of my soul, and rebuilt myself time and again. Life is pretty much Before Reese (happy) and After Reese (one blow after another). It seems that the moment I lost her things just snowballed. I wrote about my pregnancy with her until a year after, it helped. I haven't shared this publicly in quite some time but I came across a blog today that reminded me SO much of myself, and how raw it was after she died. Even after everything I've gone through and those around me have gone through loosing my marriage and Reese are tied for worst grief ever in my heart.
I just pray I never have to go through anything worse...
So, if you want to know Reese, I'll let you read about her. Please keep in mind that I was DEEP in grief. I was swallowed whole within it. She had purpose though-she taught me how to grieve, and how to be truly grateful too. You can read it in order by clicking "next day", it will jump to the next entry. I went ahead and linked you to when I found out I was pregnant with her instead of you reading it backward.
Meet Reese Noel P***.
2 comments:
Wow Ang, you've come so far! It gives me hope that I'll heal and be able to look back to. I've just gotten to the point where holding a baby is starting to become a possibility again. Thanks so much for being so open and sharing your struggles. It's helped me a lot.
Reese-so strong, and beautiful just like her mother. she is there for you so you can be there for your other kids!
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