Update on Alorah and I quit my job

Alorah was finally able to come off oxygen on Friday. We tried, after she satted around 97% at her docs office to try to take her off on Thursday. She wasn't ready. She started to retract and wheeze and grunt, and she has not grunted in years. So, I put her back on and waited another 24 hours. Friday afternoon her lungs sounded clear so I took her off, with permission from her ped, and she did well. She still needed the neb for a few more days, but she actually responded to it (which was untrue the previous days and that=scary). She has never not responded to atrovent, albuterol, steroids. This attack, honestly, shook me up. When I called to tell my boss about her spiral downward and that she would either be coming home on oxygen or staying in the hospital the response (and this was not from my boss but the person under her) was less then kind. She asked about my finances, why Levi couldn't take off and be with her, and other intrusive questions that are NONE of her business and not once did she show actual concern for, you know, my very very very sick kid. I was beyond hurt but more then that my desire to work for people that cannot bring themselves to see the big picture was gone. She could not realize that no mother would leave her kid in this situation period because there are things in this world much more important then your job. I was wounded. I took a few days and talked it over with various family and friends and not one of them told me to keep the job. They all agreed that it isn't worth it. I wanted to lash out, tell them why I was quitting, demand change, make a fuss. In the end I decided to write a professional letter, give my two weeks, and take the high road. I do not want to have wasted the past 15mths of my life and not walk away with a good reference. This week is spring break. I was supposed to call her on Friday and Sunday to give her updates about Alorah but I decided not to. I couldn't imagine speaking to her and not telling her about my decision so I waited. I got ready, got the kids ready, and headed over on Monday for my normal shift, knowing I may not be staying. She had already scheduled me the week off, because I was not sure when we last spoke when Alorah would be better. She was very surprised to see me, I took the kids to their room and asked to speak to her and her assistant. I handed over my notes and my 2 weeks. She was very shocked. However she understood that this is something I have to do, for my own family. My job is not one where it is easy to come and go for appointments. If we are short staffed, you aren't leaving. It is stressful to say the least. I hoped she wouldn't try to get me to stay, she didn't. They had just hired another person for our room to do breaks, and probably take my place in the future. She is doing well so far. I am still off this week (and enjoying the heck out of the sunshine with my kids! We are going to the zoo today) but I will finish up my time there next week. The 29th is my last day. It feels good. It is a solid decision. I want to go to school. I don't want the guilt of my kids being in daycare all summer. There are just many more reasons to leave then to stay. If I need to get a job I have that experience to back me up and finding good infant room teachers isn't always easy so at least I have that foothold. All-in-all I'm very happy, as are my children. Childhood is fleeting, I don't want to miss any more of it. I love being with them, there for them, and they are more important to me then any job ever will be.

Sniffle sniffle owch

I knew this was coming. My very first day when I walked into an endless sea of running noses. I knew I was in for it. We wash hands so much my hands bleed, but I knew I would get sick sooner then later. This morning I woke up with a sore throat which has progressed to a lovely runny nose.

Ah, the joys of working with children. Only most of their noses are all dried up. Go figure.

Just in time for moving too.

Working Mom.

This adjustment is huge. For the kids and for me. Vance spent the first 2 days sobbing. On Monday I had to send him with my mother-in-law when she dropped off the girls. I broke down crying, he was a mess. It was terrible. I went to go get him after work and he ended up wanting to stay with her. So, he did. The girls did not have school on Tuesday, it was an in service, so my mom had taken Faith after school to spend the night. It costs me $10 more per child for the girls to stay at daycare a full day instead of just after school. Did I mention how OUTRAGEOUS daycare is? 1/2 off for me with the girls going after school and Vance going full-time is a whopping $764/mth. Anyway, Alorah was the only one to go with me to work on Tuesday. My mom dropped Faith off at 3pm and my mother-in-law dropped Vance at 2pm. He spent the whole time there crying. Everyone there kept saying it takes 2 weeks to adjust. I honestly did not have time to dwell. I really, really like his teacher and I trust that he is in good hands, plus I am literally one wall away. He did much better on Thursday. I take him with me and sign him out for lunch, it gives him a break and some food since he does not like the food they serve (and...I really can't blame him too much). We go have Sonic since he can get a banana with his meal, next week I am going to pack lunches. Thursday afternoon as a reward for doing so great I let him go with my mother-in-law after she dropped the girls off and I picked him up after work. He woke up early yesterday morning gagging and throwing up all over both of us. Not fun. He ended up throwing up 3 times before I went to work so Levi stayed with him. It was just mucus so I thought maybe it was his asthma making him puke, and it was. He was fine the rest of the day, but it's better to be cautious. He saw the doctor and it was probably all the mucus running into his tummy that made him nauseous and pukey. Poor guy. When Levi picked the girls up from school they insisted on going to daycare so he brought them all over. It's nice that they enjoy it. The after school teachers are great, everyone loves my kids and they are all trying their best to make them happy. It warms my heart. My boss is fantastic. I had a pretty rocky Wed and Thurs. Just new-person drama and people not being kind. Just because I am new does not make me a slave and I am not less then them because I'm training. I had an hour and a half meeting with my boss yesterday morning and got some more training and she was very open to my concerns. Hopefully next week goes better. I work the nursery and toddler rooms. It is one big room with a dividing half-wall and I work both sides. Infant side is babies 7 weeks to 1 year. Toddler side is all the 1 year olds. It's nice because those are the ages I do best with and it turns out she has been trying to find someone to fit in those rooms for a year. It is a VERY intense room, there is a lot going on at all times, but I really like it. Most people do not, lol. The girls have taken very well to daycare. Hopefully Vance will have a better week. I am utterly exhausted. There is just SO MUCH to do. I knew it was going to be hard, but I never thought it would be this hard. Working until 6, getting home, fitting in showers, homework, dinner, reading, and quality time...on top of laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. I'm overwhelmed. I know once I find my nitch things will get easier, for now I'm just muddling through. We are taking Alorah to chuck e cheese today for her b-day. My dad and Di will be there and that is about it. I just did not have the time or money to do much else. She is getting a green ipod shuffle, clothes, new shoes, some accessories, and other tid-bits. She is happy to be 7! Everyone at daycare picked up on her spunk immediately...imagine that! I am doing well, considering. One day at a time...