"They say that time in heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye' for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, i'll already
be there."
~Author Unknown
I would much, much, much rather be there now. I want her here, looking back and always having me there with her. I hate when people say "time heals all wounds". NO, it sure doesn't. Don't EVER tell that to someone who has lost a child. It's a stupid assumption. It gets better...but it never heals. That wound will never not be there. I've heard it described as a jagged hole and slowly over time the jaggedness gets smoother but the hole never...ever...goes away and those of us who have been here wouldn't want it to. Alorah has been talking about Reese quite a bit lately. She wants to see pictures, I told her she isn't old enough. I told her about Reese's hands and feet, how small they were and perfect. Her long fingers and perfect feet. I haven't unpacked her box, it is so unfair when all you have of your child can fit into a small box. It is so emotionally exhausting every time I have to make "her place" and I'm not ready.
Some day when I die I will be with her and finally get to know her, hopefully decades before her siblings join us and that...that makes death okay for me....some day.
3 comments:
I will never forget reading your story on LJ. Reese is not forgotten, her life and story touched a lot of people.
Have you heard the song, 'If I Die Young'? There's a line that goes, "Lord, make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with You when she stands under my colors." I thought of you today when I heard that song. (by The Band Perry, if you want to listen to it.)
I wish she was here, too. She and Addison would have been great friends. I love you.
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