Pulmo called me back today (and I didn't even pester). He thinks National Jewish Hospital would be wonderful for Alorah, asked about how she is doing, upped a med (sigh). We see him April 1st, please cross your toes that a) Alorah's lung function is better by then and b) insurance approves her going to NJH. I asked her Ped and he said once all the info is submitted we will know within a week what they say. If they say no of course I will first bawl my eyes out, throw a fit, and flip my lid and THEN I will appeal it and do whatever it takes to get her in. Upping her meds over and over is not the answer. We have to get to the bottom of this and NJH is her best bet of that happening. Please, send your toe-jam our way and cross your toes as hard as you can!
I had parent-teacher conferences for the kids today. The results? They are awesome-well-adjusted-really-cool-people. Seriously, their teachers had no idea at all the magnitude of things going on in our personal lives. I'm doing something right :) They have shown no signs of the major changes that have occurred these past few months, thank goodness. I am relieved that the stability I have achieved has made their worlds safe and normal. I have found the more I treat things like they are normal and safe the less anxiety they have about them. The past 2 months were nothing like I pictured them but we have all adjusted and we will keep adjusting...and adapting...because that is life. Either go with it or get stuck and getting stuck doesn't do anybody any good. You just get muddy and I don't like mud! I tend to get stuck, and I tend to get muddy, and I tend to take a shower afterward and cry right along with the hot water pounding on me but that doesn't mean I let the kids get muddy. I let them splash a little bit, I tell them I'm having a hard day, I'm upfront when I'm not 100% so that they know it's ME and not them, but I don't share the stuff they don't need to know. We talk about their feelings, I know most of their meltdowns are not about what is for dinner or who takes a shower first or homework or my saying "no" to something. It's more complex, and as long as I keep that in mind and use it in my tool bag of how to handle things we are a-okay. I keep it as steady as I can for them and I answer their (very few...) questions as honestly as I can in age-appropriate language. Thanks to the Shrink who told me it was okay to tell them and how. (yes this is vague, I'll put it this way-right now and for the foreseeable future I am 100% a single mom. That is as much as I can say. Take that how you will).
Edited to add: I got an 84% on the algebra test I've been putting off. I'm SO glad I waited to take it. I am holding steady at 95% for the class. Yes, I am that awesome.
Also at 3:43am Faith let out a blood curdling scream that woke me straight up, and apparently woke her up, too. She had a nightmare and her own scream woke her, I ran to her room (which is right by mine) and checked on her, I thought she fell off of her loft bed or something. I think she took at least 3 months off my life...
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