Countdown!

In 11 days my baby...the amazing little person that made me a Mom and changed my world forever.  This child that has taught me so much and has so much love for animals and art.  She is going to be 11 in 11 days.

Eleven.

My head can barely wrap itself around this fact, nor that life is flying by faster than I am prepared for.  11 is a slippery slope to being a t...t...teeee....teenager.

Sigh.

We leave for National Jewish.
Soon.
My stomach and heart are in knots.  We will not get to Denver until eleven o'clock at night and be in the hospital at seven am the next day.  I will get to go to my first biomedical ethics class, which is great, but the cost is having to drive until very late at night.
There is so much to do before we leave.  There is so much riding on this trip.  Getting everyone ready to go where they will go is enough to drive a girl crazy.  Toby needs her booster shots.  I need to pack Faith and Vance up.  I have to pack Alorah and I.  Not to mention there are papers to write for school, homework, reading, etc.

It is never boring.

I really long for boring sometimes...

Levi has been back in the hospital for almost a week.
It breaks my heart but I have set boundaries.
I am sticking with them.  Thankful for a good therapist, wonderful family, and great friends.
Most of all I am focusing on protecting my children.  Their hearts, minds, souls, and spirits.  They are at these tender ages where those things must be protected.  They know...very clearly...without any unnecessary details.  They also know without question that he loves them.  He does.  They are all faring much better this time.  They are such strong, sweet, amazing, compassionate, lovely people.  I am truly blessed.

To learn more about Schizoaffective Disorder please read this site.  Read each part, carefully.  I still cannot wrap my mind around it.  I cannot imagine this world, my heart aches for everyone that suffers from it.   My first priority is my children.  They must come first.  I also have to protect my own mental health and wellbeing.  The tightrope is so thin.  The challenges are enormous.